Personal Voyage #1

 

It's just my personal story

Whenever I ponder about something, my mind wander from thought to thought, and 1,5 hours pass by.

Half of the time, they lead to entertaining thoughts. Imaginative things. Things like ideas for blog, business, art..

Half the other time, it reach plateau. That means my tank is already emptied. But I always keep brute-forcing the way, because i have no other source for insight. So I keep digging. You know what happen when you dig an empty bedrock? Burnout. Heat, tiredness, flame of hellfire that gave you heartburn. I realize in the end that digging insight from that place only result in me getting irrationality and anxiety. So, here we are. Me with my daily existensial crisis.

"What's the point of living?"

🙂

The other time, I did meditation. They were really good. As weird as it is, I go through some transcending moments. Meditation leads to calmness, compassion, and inner peace.

But that soon reach a plateau as well. Now, most of my meditation are only filled with anxiety and chattering. It's weird how meditation can turn into excruciation. So I leave.

 

When I ponder about something really deeply, 1,5 hours can pass by briefly to me. Most of my stress came from me trying to get back myself to reality. This kind of thing, it happens often when you do spiritual practices. I do not mean anything weird. Spiritual practice to me can range as simple as "praying" or "wishing someone well" really sincerely.

I care about a lot of people. Emotion can be really exhausting. But it is beautiful when you feel good things

Everything has been hot recently. For some reason, burnout really easily catch me. I consider a lot of things when I write this. I hope my burnout gets better.

I miss people. I hope the best for everyone out there.

See you!😊